Just thinkin about you Ant! my one day a part Gemini bro :-)

I remember sleepovers with Nikki and Jenny like it was yesterday...and ant would always try to scare the daylights out of us by making noises outside the window or tent we made in Nikki's room...god I wish I could go back to those days sometimes!!!!! What amazing and beautiful children are in your family!!!! Miss you guys!
 

I remember like it was yesterday... a brisk fall day on the P.A.L. field. I was coaching cheerleading and I recognized this mother shouting at the top of her lungs. I hadn't seen her in many, many years. We exchanged hugs and after pointing out my two little cheerleaders, I asked her who she was cheering for. She proudly pointed to the little guy on the football field and said with a smile, "That's my baby right there."
I'll forever remember. 

Anthony loved to spit rhymes and had been rappin' since as far back as I can remember and he was good at it. I remember a time before HS when Ant wanted a dictionary and thesaurus to increase his rappin' skills. Of course, as his mom how could I deny him a chance to increase his vocabulary. Ant was good and I loved to listen to him. I was also the one to take him to his first show in a night club (Ant was 16 at the time). Wow, that was pretty cool because he was a natural at it, what sucks is that my camera decided to stop working on me that night, so I didn't get it on tape and I'll never have a chance to see him perform again.

We love and miss you Ant! You are forever in our hearts and minds......................

Today brings so many tears, i can't believe it's been five years, i remember the call that made it hard to steer ,i had to face one of my worst fears, a voice said to me you were no longer here. It became hard to breath and my heart dropped there is no way your heart could have stopped. Anthony you were one of a kind, not here physically but everyday still on our minds,I'll never say goodbye just see you later, Cause i know your in a place that is so much greater. R.I.P. Ant I Love You 2/27/2007 ♥ Forever in our hearts ♥

 

So Just sitting around thinking and all I could think about was the Caddy!!! I remember I was auntie house and you have pulled up in the Caddy!!! You decided that you wanted to clean it from inside out.. OMG if I knew what that entitled .. LOL but we drove all the way to Mount Holly to the car store just for these special rags. These were the only rags that you would clean the Caddy with. We then came back to the carwash and probably there for a could hour and half cleaning the car. The caddy was your baby. I will never forget this memory because this was the last time you and I spent time together. I love you and miss you so much!!!!! 

I wrote a poe, for you on facebook today i thought it was beautiful it makes me cry you would have thought i was so cool cause it could be a song and i wrote my own lyrics this just brings back memories of us rapping and singing only me and you sang lol late nights in the whip when we were with the fellas we had to be tough RAP only lol C'MON BRO wit your Dru Hill singin ass oh my god we used to have so much fun back in the day i sometimes wish we could turn back those hands of time and laugh together again even if it was just for 1 minute it would mean so much to me . Always thinking of you and my memories will never grow old we love you Ant nothing will ever change that . R.I.P. <3<3<3<3<3<3

Started worked at the BX/PX, had been there for about 2months.  A young lady asked me if I had a sister named Toni and I said yes.  She asked me if she looked like me and I said of course but she is taller and she said no that she was short like me.  I told her no and then other questions were asked.  Then we got of the subject and she told me she just lost her grandmother and I gave her my condolensence.  I told her that I lost my Oma, Ant Man and Opa, she said did you say Ant and I said yes.  She looked at me and said That was my dude and she started to tell me these stories that were all good.  We both started to cry and hug. 

I know that you were loved by many not just your family.

Love you always and forever.

Auntie Bobby  

I was just having a conversation w/someone at work and we were talking about Christmas stockings and what to put in them, and she asked me what I would put in a stocking for a young man....of course it made me think of Anthony and all the things I would put in a stocking for him. Christmas stockings are big in my house, and I love doing them and my kids love getting them, as a matter of fact Ant's christmas stocking was a Harry Potter stocking he had forever, but never did he want anything different, where my girls always found a reason why they needed a new one, Anthony loved tradition. Anyway, as I'm going down a list of things I would put in Ant's stocking, it made me think of the time when he was 17 a senior in HS and I filled his stockings w/all different kinds of condoms.....lmao....yes condoms....lol and Ant loved it and so did all his friends, of course I was the coolest mom...hahaha I even put female condoms in it and Ant and I had a discussion about them cause of course it was the first time he'd ever seen them.....lol. Ohhhh how miss our conversations, his sillyness, his hugs, his smile....Love you always and forever Ant, even though your gone you still mean the world to me....xoxoxo

 ill never forget the time ant got into that car accident and almost lost his tongue(omg could you imagine if he did weird) but anywho. He was the biggest baby about everything. but this was just over the top for him to handle. he couldn't talk for so long. everything was slurred. I remember us going to the St Anne's carinval it was just me and Ant in the blue hoop ride. he was rapping the songs on the radio talking to me but by that time i was use to he talking all funny. than he turns down the radio like " kris, can you understand what im saying? do i sound crazy? " i was like im use to it by now but just talk slow and take ya time make it easier to understand you. and as yall know ant, he worried about the girls. im like look don't worry and even if you do sound stupid they will probably like it and wana take care or you. he like you right! so we get to the carnival i don't even know what i was expecting knowing i was going with ant, im thinking to myself no he is gona leave me ima be walking around alone, i have no friends.lmao but of course he gets my "body guards" lol kareem and darius to hang out with me lol. those were my two bestfriends only cse kareem was curtis little brother and that was his bestfriend lmao. ant was over protective and a comdian.. Man do i miss you bro, i wish i could go back to the days where you use to make me rub your head, i miss doing it even though it got on my nerves but you were my big bro so i did anything for you !! 

It's Halloween and it reminded me of the time I came to your school dressed like a clown w/a mask on and none of the kids knew who I was. I went to each one of your class rooms passing out candy and lollipops and you were in the 6th grade. When I got to your room everyone was trying to figure out who I was as I'm joking and having a good time and one of the kids in class said "Ant, is that your mom?"....lol You were like "THAT"S NOT MY MOM!".....I laughed so hard, cause you did not want it to be me......ahhhhh the memories. Love you miss you Ant-Man always wishing u were still here w/us....Kiss Oma and Opa for me and Nanny and Grandpa Garcia, you are in Heaven w/the best of them....Love you my Son!!!

Ant was such a comdiean and always had us all cracking the hell up. I remember our trip to NC just me and my kids and Ant was in the front seat pretending to be mentally challenged and ppl in the other cars were looking at him like he was crazy and we were laughing so hard, guess you really had to be there to appreciate it. Or I swear Ant always immitated this comedian Jim Carey and at the time I didn't even know who he was. So the first time I saw a Jim Carey movie all I could think about how he was just like Ant, I swear Ant had him to the T. Or the time he wanted to walk around the house like a gorilla.....lmao...."look Mom", he'd say.."Im a gorilla"....lol Or his first fight he was like 6/7 and the neighbor's kid was the same age, but bad as they wanna be and the older brother started the whole thing to make them fight and Ant was in Karate at the time...well that kid was sorry he started anything cause as upset as Ant was when he came in the house, he had blood on his sneaker from his karate kick....lol Just random memories that go through my head all the time and I need to get them typed out on his site, because I'm affraid that I will forget them. Anthony mommy loves you and misses you so much and I will never let them forget you.....xoxoxoxox

My memory is a lil shot but i got one from way back when . . .it was always lil sis with lil sis and  older with older even though me and nik was the same age so it was me and kristy and heather and nikki so one day we was beat as hell and decide to make up a dance so we picked songs me and kris pick the ghetto superstar song and i know yall remember when the rugrats movie came out well it was either nikki or kristy but somebody owned the soundtrack and my sister and nik picked a song off of that . . .WACK lol so anthony steps in and wants to judge our lil contest but anyway heather and nikki did they lil 1-2 lookn good and crazy so me and kris was up next so we runnin through our routine and anthony was standing kinda close and we did this move where we put our hands up and my finger slid right up his nose the shit was funny as hell he didnt mind to much he was silly as hell anyway always doing jim carey impressions making us laugh and being such a good sport and great jugde at the moment considering the finger in his nose lol he decided me and kristy won that battle hands down . . . another one was when i was like 12 and i used to be big, a lil pudgy ,ok ok i was fat as hell and i guess he used to just see it on my face that i just wasnt comfortable being so big and i will always remember we was sitting in the kitchen and he was raiding the pantry as always ,if he didnt send someone to do it for him ,and i was doing my homework and he looked at me and told me i was going to be beautiful when i got older and boy if it wasnt the truth lol im not conceited but he wasnt wrong lol. . .i just wish i had more great memories with anthony he was definitely a good soul i wish i hadnt distanced myself from such great people i love yall family cant wait to get back to you guys

I remember it was christmas, i don't member how old we were but we was young cse we still listened to tape players, so for some reason i thought i was slick trying to see what i was getting, and i thought you bought me some fake jewelry. So we all opening presents and stuff, and im opening your gift to me, I ripp off all the paper and I see Mariah Carey tape and I just started busing out crying, I love Mariah, and i was just so excited all i could was cry... that was so funny Nikki brought that up when we were getting ready for Angie's wedding, cse she was talkin about her Mariah songs she was playing at the wedding., So its been on my mind and I just got done telling Amanda my roommate about it she was laughing.. LOve you very much, and miss u to death mauhh<3

I was talking about our ghosts the other day and I believe it was you who spotted one in the house first...lol. I'll never forget it, we closed the restaurant and you were the last one to leave. We were out back and saw you come running out the back door and down the stairs....lmao. You were trippin cause you turned around to make sure all the lights were off and behind you stood a figure surround by light and it scare the hell out of you. We laughed soooo hard... I miss you Ant, you always knew how to make me laugh and were just as silly as you wanted to be. I love you, and I know you are watching over us and keeping your sisters safe. And your nieces are soooooo precious, I know that you would be kissing all over them....and be the best Uncle any of them could ever have and we make sure they'll know that forever and ever. Love Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxox

 

Yo Dog it's crazy right now the weather is changing here again today your on my mind heavily im at work lol my patients are gonna be like what's your deal dude ? ima be like yo mind your business and be sick i'm having a moment i'm thinking about the weather changing and you breaking out the new hoodie collection you were so colorful lol when the seasons changed so did your wardrobe you changed like a sassafras tree out by the creek in V-Town member that.

 

Remember when your dad would flip out cause i didn't do the dishes cause you would come home and we would dip off and smoke lmfao man i miss you dog i don't have a friend right now that could amount to what we had and i never will you used to crack up your dad would be like DEEDA he already knew what it was when you came home.

 

What hurts right now is the fear of running out of memories but then again those same memories are amazing and i have just now decided they will never grow old and now im cool.

 

C'Mon Bro lmao Nikki tried to smoke wit us and we gave her that little ass roach and she sucked it down her throat you were like YO DEEDA THAT WAS HILARIOUS we laughed for days at Domoniques expense lmao.

 

I cleaned my room the other day and i stopped for like a half hour straight and looked at the pictures in the frame your mom gave me at my EMT graduation and i cried i remember how bad i wanted you to be there and how proud you would have been of me I LOVE YOU BRO.

I was talking about you today to a co worker. We were talking about our kids' school years. I talked about what a great kid you are about how well you mastered school even after they said you are emotionally disburbed and needed to be in special ed school, so glad we didn't listen to those idiots....they had absolutely no idea what they were saying, you were a great kid and your high school years you just soared through w/out any problems, just mellow and cool you are...I love and miss you so much. I was thinking about the time  you and Nikki were in RV together it was your senior year and the only year u attended this school, but you didn't mind you were too cool, you always were able to fit right in no matter where you went and always won everybody over with that great big beautiful smile that I miss. I love you Ant, and I am so proud of you.

As Valentine Day approaches, it always makes me think about you and the things you used to do for me. One year you cleaned my room and made my bed and put a blue ceramic rose that you made for me on my pille. You used to always do something for me or make sure you called me and wished my a Happy Valentine Day. The last Valentine I had with you you gave me some flower's w/a card in them that read "To My Valentine" but between My and Valentine you wrote in the word "Real". You always knew how to make me cry and was always soooo proud of you. As this time of year approaches my memories of you become flooded and it becomes harder for me to focus or do everyday things. I miss you soo much and I will never never never let them forget my Anthony. I love you my REAL Valentine!!!!

It's crazy how much time has past and they say that when you lose someone close that it wont hurt as much in time and you'll learn to accept it. I still havent accepted losing you. I remember when I first met you when I was 7.....my mom dropped me off at daddy's house n he sat me down n was like corie you have an older brother his name is anthony and your going to meet him tommorow...i was like WTF! lol i was used to being an only child n having daddy to myself. But when I met you I was soooo happy to have a big brother and I went back home to Florida telling all my friends how I had a older brother and how cool you were. I miss you so much anthony words couldnt express it enough. I wish you  couldve met jayda....I think you have two neices now... i'll make sure jayda knows all about her uncle, it kinda freaked me out the other day because she pointed at the picture I have in the apartment and said "uncle" I was like yes lil mama thats your uncle. It gets me through the day knowing that with each moment that goes by is another moment closing to seeing you again. I love you Ant!~~~Love Corie

i was watching the news the other day and they were talking about the giant panda going back to china in a couple of years and it made me think about when ant and i were sitting in my drive way and he turned to me with that im about to say something funny grin and did that chuckle...i said what do u have to say ant...and he said"you know what your nose is big but its cute like a panda,you got a panda bear nose.....i just laughed,i couldnt even get mad...out the blue with his thoughts i swear...he always reminded me of my panda nose from there on out.... looks nothing like it.....love you ant forever missed 

I'm going through it thinking about you right now so I thinking and and I wanted to share a memory with you.. Remember when Dom passed away for the home coming game in Pemberton Puch man and Micky from the radio station came through. I was 13 so you were 15. I remember walking around and seeing Puch man and everyone was around him so I pushed my way through the crowd and introduced myself so he was feeling my swag so I started walking around with him with his arm around me .....  anyways everyone started rapping to him so I was like wait my brother is nicer then all of these people LOL. So he was like aight I told him not to move I'll be right back. I remember running to go get you all excited and I found you sitting on the top of he bleachers so I screamed Ant hurry up I need you to come!! I had the excited face and was like hurry hurry and you had that famous smile on your face like what Nik. So I had you walking extra fast with me back to him and explained the story to you and you was hype like yeah Nik thats what it is.So I pushed through the crowd holding onto you and got to the front and cut the boy off that was rapping and told Puch this is my brother so he was like a young blood show me what you got. So as usaul you did your thing and he was like aight aight and gave you a card with a number on it. We walked away and you said Nik good look how did you get so close to him. I'm smooth come on Ant so we started cracking up and feling our self looking like this...  For the next week straight everyday i was like did you call and you said I think they gave the radio station number. We laughed at least you were the only one the gave the number to LMAO I LOVE YOU BRO

Whats good Ant I have been thinking about you all crazy like I always do. Me and Terrek were talking and he said how you use to tell him that he was lucky to have someone like me because I was so soft and rough at the same time. I had to smile because of course this isn't something you told me! Anyways you probably know I was going through it the other night off that emotional movie. I can see you laughing at me! JUST MAKE SURE YOU DO ME THAT FAVOR! I love you Bro

As i sit here and look at your page it always makes me cry.. Its raining today and i just can't stop thinking about you... But as i lookd at all the pictures and other ppl memories i have so many.. You were my hero i was wanted to be just like you..Like i memeber when u into wrestling, id lay in your bed every night and watch it with you. what ever you liked i liked thats for sure.. You always had my rubbing your head or making you some oodles and noodles, with my special ingredinents that you loved. what ever you would ask id do fr you.. you and nikki use to add yor names to my gifts that i bought for holidays for everyone except when u got older you started buying mom expensive stuff and i just had lil gifts lol...or one day we were so young i don't know why i even remember this but we was in the car and u said u were going to marry me.lol. and om said u couldn't... as we got oldr you swore you never said that but u did..lol..Also i memeber one day we went out for dinner at the chinese buffet in moorsetown,,(only the best) and we were talkin and i was telling you how i wanted yo go to pemberton but you were trying to talk me out of it, i told u i need to get out of seneca and id do my best in school and stay outta trouble.. Well i stayed outta trouble for the most part..lol.. im though i did't do my absoulte best i did pretty good. I graduated and got into college.. and everytime i feel like giving up or im slacking i just think i gotta make my antman proud so i better suck it up and get busy. I miss you so much everyday i think about you i wear your hoodie about 3- 4 times outta my week.. You didn't get to be there for my highschool graduation but i still have the roses from 8th grade.. i guess god made me save them cse he knew you would be gone before..