Anthony Paul Garcia

Sunrise June 5, 1986    Sunset February 27, 2007

"If Love Could Have Saved You, You Would Have Lived Forever." 

How do I heal my heart

How can I let you go 

You were my first born 
My baby boy
You filled my days with 
Love and joy – 
How do I heal my heart 
When will the pain be gone 
You were my reason for living 
Now that reason is gone – 
How do I stop from wanting 
To see you one more time 
To gaze into those beautiful eyes 
And know they’re just like mine 
How can I stop forgetting 
The pictures in my mind 
The little boy who grew to be 
The man, so handsome and kind 
Each day I long to hear your voice 
and get a hug from you 
I hope you're singing in the clouds 
That's what you love to do 
Until the angels come for me 
I'll miss you every day 
Stay close by and feel my love
for you, my son, I pray.

Rest in Peace Antskii and Poeii

As I'm writing this poem I got tears in my eyes. Its so hard to say two simple words good bye. I don't want to relive the moments, but I have to put this pen to this paper for my two homies lives that were stolen. Words can't describe how I feel, when this all happened I asked God what's the deal. Two of my good friends time was cut short, for this uphill battle I'm going to need God's support. First came disbelief than anger and finally grief. See still until this day I find it hard to believe. I still ask a question why them not me. I guess it's all in God's plan. He must have wanted two of his angels of this land. Where my heart used to be there is now a hole. The pain I felt when they left hurt to my soul. Ant you showed me the true definition of fun. I swear your heart alone weighted a ton. The first time I ever went to a club was on our birthdays. I miss those great memories in the worst way. Poe your the meaning of a true G. I will be forever grateful for the things you taught me. You introduced me to my second family. Until the end of this world y'all will have my LOVE and Loyalty. This is for my homies, I'll see you when I get there. I'll never forget y'all and always know ii care. I know y'all up there with the Angels flying high. So until we meet again this is my Good Bye! 

 

 Time is moving forward

But the pain remains the same
6 years have passed now
And nothing seems to change.

You were taken so suddenly
I could never be prepared
For the pain that I would feel
For the deep and dark despair.

A dark cloud descended
Over my world that day
For the loss of my child
There are no words I can say.

I long to see your face
To see you walk into the room
I long to hear your voice
Saying Mommy I love you too

I know this will never be
I know this for a fact
But that doesn’t stop the longing
The longing to have you back

I can’t deal with the pain inside
I feel emotionally shutdown
From the pain that I try to hide.
The pain that’s so deep down.

I have asked myself many times
Will it always hurt this way?
Will the pain ever subside?
Will it ever go away?

They say time heals all wounds
I really don’t think that is true
I just have to learn to live
With the pain of losing you.

So on this sad day my son
I want to say to you
How very much I love you
And miss you so much too

If tears could build a stairway,
And memories were a lane,
We would walk right up to heaven
To bring you down again.
No farewell words were spoken,
No time to say good-bye.
You were gone before we knew it,
And only God knows why.
Our hearts still ache in sadness
And secret tears still flow,
What it meant to lose you,
No one will ever know.
When we are sad and lonely,
And everything goes wrong,
We seem to hear you whisper
"Cheer up and carry on."
Each time we look at your pictures,
You seem to smile and say,
"Don't cry, I'm only sleeping,
We'll meet again someday."
~Unknown



 

The days are long without you here, I've sat and cried a thousand tears,
that cruel fate did my life destroy and take away my lovely boy.
But you can wipe my tears away, you walk beside me every day.

The looming years that, more or less, just fill me with unhappiness,
are speckled with some happy times, when rainbows brighten up the skies.
I know you're never far away, you walk beside me every day.

There will be anniversaries and celebrations that you'll miss,
Oh, Anthony, how we'll miss you then, your booming laugh, your cheeky grin.
But you'll be there, you'll find a way, you walk beside us every day.

Sometimes I dream that I'm awake and find it's all a big mistake,
That you are here, you're safe and well! with hugs and smiles and tales to tell!
And in my mind I hear you say, "I walk beside you, every day."

The road ahead is hard and steep, with hills to climb and furrows deep,
and life will never be as good as when you, here beside us, stood.
But we beleive that here you stay, you walk beside us every day.

At night you gently touch my cheek and memories are mine to keep,
of my sweet son, so deeply missed, since that first day your head I kissed.
Inside my heart forever stay and walk beside every day.

Anthony's favorite scripture in the Bible was Psalm 23. If he walked in your house and saw the Bible, he would tell you it should be open to Psalm 23:

A psalm of David.

1 The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

2 He makes me lie down in green pastures, 

he leads me beside quiet waters,

3 he restores my soul. 

He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.

4 Even though I walk 

through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

5 You prepare a table before me 

in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.

 6 Surely goodness and love will follow me 

all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever

Nine To Five

Its nothing that you said to me
Its not the words unspoken
I know its hard for you to see
My heart is truly broken

I share a smile but when I pass
It just turns upside down
Just like my life from day to day
No way out can be found

There’s nothing that will fix this
Some call it my situation
As if one day, I’ll be the same 

But they are sadly mistaken

A situation hardly compares
To one’s life stolen violently
This is a scar I will bear for life
It’s a permanent part of me

I have good days and enjoy them
My bad days I cannot explain
Until this horror knocks at your door
You’ll never know this kind of pain

So if you see me crying,
Or wiping my tears away
Its ok, I’m where I’m supposed to be
It’s a process for me every day

Don’t be afraid to talk to me
Or mention my child’s name
You speak of yours so freely
Please treat my child the same

Though to you he may not be living 

To me, he’s right in my soul
I say his name out loud every day
His story, always to be told

Dedicated to POMC (Parents of Murdered Children)

members (WWW.POMC.ORG) 
Written by Dottie Tapscott
4/27/07
In Loving Memory of TJ and all our Children

This Ribbon represents a murdered child.
Parents of Murdered Children is an organization that
helps parents and loved ones who are bereaved.
 
 

  

 

My son,

How hard it is

To understand why you didn’t live.

My heart beats daily,

As days go by

and I breath barely

For I can’t understand why.

I know we’re not supposed to question,

That one thing we don’t understand.

But I’m not sure I will ever understand

Why God chose to take YOUR hand.

I like to believe that he took you to save you from grief.

Of a life not chosen, but given to, by the streets.

As your mom all I ever wanted to do,

Was protect you from all harm I ever knew.

You filled my life with such joy,

I was so proud to call you my boy

Good, Bad or indifferent, I didn’t care

You were my baby and no matter what ‘Mommy would be there’

And after all this I try to find gratitude

For the 20 years God allowed me to spend

with you.

You are and will always be

the love of my life and now your free

Free from Evil, free from Grief

Free to always watch over me.

I love you, MY LOVE,

MY PRECIOUS

MY SON

 Mommy 

 

 

  

For Ant and his Mommy....

 As each passing day goes by

A tear falls from her eye

With each day passing her

A memory comes to mind

Without you by her side

Tears and memories compile

Until you meet again

Her memories will form a mountain

A mountain unclimbable

Her tears will form an ocean

An ocean uncrossable

You are her angel

You are her light

Guiding her through her days

And protecting her nights

You may be gone

But you're not forgotten

You are her angel now

And your Mommy she will always be

Until you meet again

She'll cry these tears

She'll release these memories

She shall climb her mountain

she will cross her ocean

OnE day soon

She will be at your side

You will be in her arms

You shall be safe once more.
Written By Key
Dedicated to Ant and his Mom